I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
