I heard we made out
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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