she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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