glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The ass gains better be worth it
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