I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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