My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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