According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
