I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
