He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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