quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
