Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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