Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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