It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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