Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
