Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
