hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drunk is not a location!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
