left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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