I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
