We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize