I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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