Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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