I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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