Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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