So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
