Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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