He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
