I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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