Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
