If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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