I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
