just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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