Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
