North Korea, Best Korea!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
