It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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