If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
