going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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