Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
