k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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