spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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