He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
