just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
