Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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