i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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