We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
