too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did i walk over a car last night?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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