on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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