oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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