he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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