The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
