Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
