Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well you can't waste a boner
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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