he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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