im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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