i think i have herpe
just one?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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