I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
