She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
