i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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