she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
